Zesty Lemon

Not unusually, I’m sat here scratching my head at the minute for two reasons. The first being that I was shocked to only learn of the ‘impending’ rapture after it was supposed to have already happened, and secondly, because this must be either the second or third ‘end of the world’ epoch that I’ve survived and it’s getting pretty tiring. In the spirit of the internet, I think it’s only fair that we look at the guy; and indeed the reasoning behind the May 21st scaremongering to see how someone could get it so biblically (pun intended) wrong.

The annals of history are filled with dire predictions of global disasters, the end of the universe and religious raptures, and indeed a few of these events have been championed by characters that even now we respect for their contribution to more useful endeavours. Take the esteemed but eccentric Isaac Newton. Aside from his much celebrated modern theory of calculus and his somewhat obvious declaration that an apple really does hurt if it strikes ones head from a tree, he gave a convincing but notionally vague appraisal that the world would end at some point after 2060. Whilst remembered for his greatness however, Newton actually spent most of his time on more abstract quests. Upon examination of his notes, people were astounded to discover many references to occult religious investigation and the pursuit of turning base metals into valued ones. He additionally got involved with a risky sect that advocated the denial of the holy trinity, which; considering that his alumni heritage was that of Trinity College Cambridge, didn’t do a huge amount for his credibility.

So this brings us on to Harold Egbert Camping (forecaster of the May 21^st rapture). The first thing to note is that it isn’t his first rapture prediction. Alas, most people would be pretty embarrassed getting it wrong the first time; his original prediction was on May 21^st 1988, but he has since predicted September 7^th 1994 and, of course more recently May 21^st of this year. And that’s not even the full picture. Since the coming (and going) of the latest date, he has continued with the tenacity that only someone with a middle name like ‘Egbert’ could muster, and announced with great gusto; and crossed fingers, that the coming of Christ will ‘conclusively’ occur on October 21^st 2011. This is of course, exactly what the apocalyptic fans want to hear. I’d hedge a bet that very few of them actually believe the claimed prophesy or are even religious. In fact, I would be very willing to champion their cause and revel in the apparent hysteria that these predictions cause.

What I find particularly amusing however, is the ‘methodology’; if you can call it that, used to deduce dates for these cataclysmic events. An engineer by trade, Camping really should have known better as the equation he devised to calculate the May 21^st date is; no word of a lie, the following:

(atonement x completeness x heaven)² = 722,500

I have to confess that this is paraphrased. According to Camping, atonement equals 5, completeness equals 10 and heaven is equal to 7. Without wanting to understand, or even care about what rationale was used to deduce the numerical equivalents, I can’t be the only one to be so truly staggered at the attention given to such a poorly founded debasement of history. It’s hard to believe, but it does get worse. Without evidence; and in a moment of enlightenment of which spiritual nutters often distinguish themselves with, the rapture was supposedly going to be pragmatic, in that it would strike at 6pm local time, advancing across time zones every hour. Clearly, the supreme beings in the world have an appreciation of the Gregorian calendar and the International Date Line.

We now have only one more ‘rapture’ to deal with this year in October and no doubt, the excitement will embellish this one too. I hate to say it, but without wanting to stretch credibility; for I already believe this has been done for me, the only thing preventing this one being made into a Michael Bay film is start location outside of Central Park and a time, curiously incompatible with sunset.

Tags: 2012, Apocalypse, Bible, Calculus, End of the world, Harold Camping, Isaac Newton, May 21st, Michael Bay, October 21st, Rapture, Trinity